Crazy talk

(how could you not love a stud muffin like this?)

MIL: "You know, I thought I would be excited about the birth of my only grandchild, but I'm not.  I don't feel anything because you guys won't take my advice.  You won't even  let me tie his hands and feet together."

MIL finally cleans her hands

Since my MIL moved in, my wife and I noticed that she never washed her hands.  

MIL just finished taking a loud, smelly dump, didn't wash her hands and went to pick up my newborn son.

Wife: "Mom, can you wash your hands before you hold him? You just used the toilet."
MIL: "No."
Wife: "Will you at least use some hand sanitizer?"
MIL: "Fine" (MIL theatrically unscrewed the top of the hand sanitizer bottle and dumped the entire bottle on her hands and all over the floor, and then rubbed the handfuls of sanitizer under her armpits.)
MIL: "Happy? " (MIL stomped away and slammed her bedroom door shut)