2. (talking to my pregnant wife) "After you give birth, make sure you don't eat any squash or pumpkin for one month, or else your stomach will remain huge forever, and you'll look pregnant for the rest of your life!"
3. "Diapers? You don't need diapers for your baby! When you want the baby to pee you just hold it naked over the ground and put some urine in his mouth. When he tastes the urine, he'll pee right away and you don't have to worry about diapers."
4. "Don't drink so much water, it will make you fat!"
5. "NO! STOP! Don't drink cold water with your meal! Didn't you realize that will destroy your stomach!"
6. I came home at lunch today to find my mother-in-law wearing my wife's clothes (imagine Winnie-the-pooh wearing Piglets cloths). Oh, the humanity.
7. Mother-in-law Quote: "You will never be able to open that bathroom door again. The lock on that door is special. There is no key in the world that can unlock that door. They make the locks so it isn't possible to unlock it. You have to break down your bathroom door and buy a new one."
*I borrow the key from the landlord and unlock the door*
MIL: "Oh, that lock is broken, usually once they're locked, they're locked forever."
(talking to my wife): "After you have the baby, for one month you can not go outside, use a fan, or use air conditioning, or even stand in front of the window. If you do, you will have a migraine headaches, constantly, until the day you die."
8. (At Central Market, Phnom Penh, Cambodia: Mother-in-law, "How do you know this tuk tuk** driver won't kidnap us and sell us into slavery? I can't believe you are trusting this guy to drive us around, you are just too simple minded."
*This is Central Market
*this is a tuk tuk
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